Here’s a little warning. Following your heart comes with great responsibility. From a young age we’ve learned to do things that we don’t really want to do, but do them anyway because it’s expected from us.
Throughout the years, we become this numbed down version of ourselves. I quit my job in the Netherlands to travel in South East Asia, then I started teaching abroad, then I quit my job again to follow my love and yearning for more music in my life.
As soon as you choose to follow your heart, a shift inside you starts happening. You are no longer able to do the things that don’t resonate, because your heart will simply tell you: ‘This isn’t YOU! Go this way, go the other way.’ You might even have to disappoint some people, because you are simply not living up to their expectations. What would they say? What will happen? Yes, perfect. Wonder about these things and realize something is awakening within you. If you wonder about these things, it only means your heart is speaking you into doing something bold. Eventually, if you listen, you’ll find out it’s like landing on a soft bed with feathers, it was never as frightening as you thought it would be in the first place. It comes with a tremendous reward. You’ll feel more alive, more aligned, more excitement, more YOU. Let go of any idea, any plan, it’s never going to work out the way you thought it would. The universe has made a plan for you. All you have to do is give in. Your life will be more of an organic flow, instead of a fully planned agenda. Let the uncertainty excite you. Start living on the edge.
From Bangkok to Laos, back to Bangkok again, after a long and draining trip, we finally had arrived in India. It was my third time visiting. She keeps calling me back. This time not with a very warm welcome; the ATMs were only giving thirty euro’s per transaction because India had decided to change the bills. We could only just make it to Goa with the money we had. We slept in the most horrible hotel, but finally, we had arrived in our ocean-facing, bright red, home away from home on Arambol Beach, Goa.
Last night’s gig in Twice in Nature was truly magical. Ambient music mixed with danceable tunes. People were relaxing on the pillows, with closed eyes, smoking a J. Warm sounds, synths, flutes and effects filled the place and the hearts of the crowd. The beat came in. With all eyes staring at me, I regained full trust on my own ability to grab the right notes and improvise. I made love to the music with my voice. My body was moving easily. I was in the zone. It didn’t take long for the whole crowd to stand up and move with me and the DJ, the music, in ecstasy.
I was behind my computer the next day, editing some videos from last night’s gig. My FB Messenger was overloaded with musicians, videographers, producers wanting to work together. Deciding with whom and how I was going to do this, I didn’t know. I was a bit overwhelmed. At least my mother was here for any advice, which she loves to give by the way.
I walked towards the balcony and a young man walked by in his red robe. He looked up to where I was standing. I smiled at him and said: “Hello.”
“Hi! I was actually planning to live in this house, but now you are living here. This was my house last year…” as he pointed up with a disappointed face and half a smile. Without thinking I said: “So sorry to hear! Why don’t you come up and enjoy the view anyway?” -“Sure, why not, I can make some masala chai tea!” he replied. Then I realized: “Oh shit, I just invited a random Indian guy in a red robe into my house. Why did I do that? Maybe he won’t be coming up anyway…”
But he did. He walked up the stairs, with different jars in his hands with all the ingredients to prepare the tea. I felt a little uncomfortable: “Hi, welcome!” with a hand gesture into the house. I said it to soothe my own and his feelings. I received a handful of chocolate treats. “Thank you! I’m a chocolate lover, how did you know?” He smiled in response. He seemed like a nice guy. Probably the long red robe made him seem trustworthy.
“Wow, so many jars!” I said. -“Yes, it’s my mom’s best Masala chai.”
I walked him into the house and into the kitchen. My mother walked towards the kitchen and greeted him too. He quietly prepared his tea and gently placed it on the table of our living room. Our living room had big glass doors, they were always open. White curtains dancing in the air, a gorgeous view on Arambol beach and the ocean. A sunset I’ve never seen in my life before and I have seen many. Here in India, the sunset had something more powerful about it. Just the color of the orangey, red sun was mesmerizing on its own.
“I did a gig last night and right now I’m editing the video, would you like to see it?” -“Sure” he said, and sat down in the living room after preparing the tea. He looked at the screen and then closed his eyes. When the video was done he said: “I love it!” I could see by his expression he was very excited, he had a twinkle in his eyes. He truly meant what he expressed. He said that he could help me with my music. “I have a very big business online” he claimed. I’m a complete technical loser, so the universe had heard my calls and sent me an online genius! He showed me his Facebook page and business card. The page had over two million followers. I was willing to see where it would take me. I signed a contract before and had spent months of talking to someone who promised me the world. Trusting someone had become more difficult after this experience, I won’t deny. The man in the red robe “A”, I will call him from now on, had left a good impression on me that day. Although there was something about him, I couldn’t put my finger on it.